If theres one place in the world where all rules are not applicable , it has to be dagupan. Its where all laws ofanagent and all theories in education and child development dont apply. Its frustrating how people do nit see the value of great things and would rather have a mediocre even low quality product for no reason at all. It is where people would rather buy an iphone to look good and sacrifice their diet and health. It is where people would rather pay so much on tutorial centers than invest on good schools. Dagupan is sooooo weird! It has been so different from All the cities ive been through. It has been so different from all the laws of management and anthropology i know. Its like putting my head against the wall every year. People are just too narrow minded. I need to rest. Im so tired. 

Theres so many things ib life you cant control. Despite giving your best, it may seem ibsufficient to other people. Leading a school is so frustrating. You feel so helpless everydqy when you cannot control everything - all the dynamics of running a school. When the sachool became your life, when you live the kods, you end up being so frustrated on how , why and what didnt you do right. I believe last year was one of the most organized year we had. It was painful - because we lost a great sister in the school family. But with the leadership of Teacher Red and Teacher Gena i know the school is on thte rigt track. I know within me we are. But people really doesnt aee that. They want things that doesnt have sense. More than that, circumstances are just way beyond my control. Its just frustrating.

Its kinda frustrating here doing what i do. Do it right people dont appreciate. Do it wrong prople complain like hell. Its like everything you do do not really matter. Its just frustrating and i just wanna let go. Allow God for He is truly in control. Many times ive put thongs in my hand leaving me miserable when it doesnt go to plan. My biggest pain had been about broken loyalties. That had been my greatest fear and thus my eeakness. Ive slways valued loyalty because its what my dad modelled and taught me. But in this day and age where prople do not really care, i find myself betrayed all the time. And the Lird has taught me to look unto Him in all things. None of these things are in my control.

Today, I am once again faced with some of my greatest fears -  not being good enough. I have always feared of being not good enough towards my family, my marriage even even towards work. So every time a  challenge comes crawling in, my first reaction is - self-pity. Feeling helpless, I remembered what God has spoken to me for the last three months. From the beginning of this year (last January), the Lord has forced me to surrender everything to Him. To tell you the truth, I got really depressed last January. I felt like everything on my plate is...gone. Everything fell not according to my plan. and so I did gave up and started depending on the Lord.
This morning , same thing happened. I tried fixing and doing things according to my perspective. But the Lord has taken things again out of my hand and reminded me that He is in control. When he does that, i used to struggle and fight. But today, I simply surrender.
Indeed, anxiety can really paralyse us and cripple us in times when we need the Lord more. But as it cripples in, we need to remind ourselves to look away unto Jesus and simply surrender everything to Him, anchor our life on His promises. For He said, "For my grace is sufficient unto you, for my power is perfected in your weaknesses." and "I know my plans I have for you. Plan to proposer you and not to harm you." Indeed our life here on earth is simply temporary. And all we need to do in depend on Him.

In this day and age where families have been broken, child-rearing is considered not priority for both mothers and fathers, my heart grieves for the current situation of children today. When you see children coming in and out of your office, you somehow develop that burden to help them. Why? Whats the problem? Why is this happening to them? You tend to realise how broken children are today and you tend to think and pray how to help each and every child.
Because of the demands of life, the business of parents, children have less and less time talking to their parents, sharing everything. Children are growing up with more time with peers and the internet. Children are growing up getting material compensation rather than emotional and spiritual security. Seeing my children grow everyday, i dread the day when I see them rebel against me and dek, turn their backs on the Lord and just do what they wanna do without considering God's will.
It gave me the feeling and realisation how important parenting is today. As our world becomes more and more dangerous, as our children become more and more susceptible to peer pressure, as information (both right and false information) become more and more accessible to our children, we need to recalibrate and see - where we are going, where our children are going and what should we do to go against the tide of this age.

Its been a while since my last entry in this nlog. Kne is that i have not so mich to rant. This time i want to change the purpose in writing. I want to share and inpart what im going through, share what ive learned and not simply rant. The past 3 years have indeed been so stressful for me - makingg me rant everytime we encounter something in school. 

Im happy to announce the new addition to our family. A beautiful baby girl named faith. Giving birth for the third time is truly ..... A remarkable experience. You get to enjoy simple tjings like recoveringg faster than uour past pregnancies. You get to be more patient in breastfeeding. You get to use each and every moment to talk to the Lord. 

Ive used my breastfeeding time to do quiet time. Thats what you call wise use of time. :) and it has been enriching. Motherhood is indeed one of the hardest journey i have taken. But the sacrifices are all worthit. Just seeing your little one grow everyday ... Achieve little milestones.... I truly believe we , women are created to be wives and mothers. 

I wanna share some principles from couple's retreat about our roles as women. In this day and age and because of the consequences of sin, we have fallen short of God's glory and have lost sight of God's design for our lives. Women are created to complete the man. In genesis 2, God made the woman to be the helpmeet - the helper. We are need to be reminded all the time thatbit is not our destiny to overtake our husband's achievements but rather support and help them achieve theirs. When our husbands are successful, we are successful because we are one when we married our husbands. 

The second principle from biblical marriage and parenting is child rearing. It is the Lord's commission for us to disciple all nation baptising them. What better and closer way to disciple than to disciple our own children - raising them to grownin the fear of the Lord, to walk with the Lord and to accomplish His purpose in their lives is the best discipleship we can ever embark on. 

As mothers, we need to be clar about God's purpose - God's economy, God's plan for our families and be fervent in our prayer life. 

We indeed need to have the vision of God's economy and His eternal plan. Without an idea of what His heart's desirenis, we will simply live our lives the way we want to and they way our environment want us to. On my way to such a hectic work trip to san fernando today, i listened the pastor ricky's message on trust in the Lord and He will mold you. He doesnuse corcumstances and difficulties to teach us to be mpre patient , to persevere in prayer and to trust in Him. This year has been tough. You have no idea how many times i have blamed myself and other people. But todaybthe Lord showed me that He has a plan for me and for Oakridge. And that He will nwver leave mor forsake us. We simply need to trust in Him

This year has been one of the most challenging year ever. Not only have I felt more anxious in my life, I have also felt that human relationships and friendship are simply vanity of vanities. This year, my biggest fear came true. The people I thought who will help in establishing the school through their partnership and feedbacks bailed on Oakridge. I felt so much hurt. But the Lord has shown me this year to simply "trust and obey". This year, i saw how frail human relationships are and how we shouldnt depend on our own capabilties and relationships. The only reliable person is simply God Himself. I have learned the secret- which is simply to abide in the vine and allow Him to take full control. 

I felt really betrayed as I have given more than my best shot at school. I believe that everything we have done has been our best- and whats best for the kids. But people do not think the same way we think. Each person has their own idea and opinion about education. Being an educated educator and having read so many researches about best practices in school, i cannot help but wonder why best practices doesnt sell in Dagupan City. What am I doing wrong? 

But again and again, the Lord reminded me to "stop" and start abiding in Him. By the Lord's grace and mercy, our population is even more than our population last year. Many lfet- thats true. But God indeed provided. 

Today I wanna share how choosing God's Best has caused me to realized important things in lif. The Lord has taught me to let go the hard way. Being a driven and competent  person that I am, I struggle to depend on the Lord most of the time. But last year, when the Lord has instructed me to put my faith in Him and see that He is in control, i made a leap of faith. It was like walking in the darkness. For the first time in my life, i was walking by faith- uncertain of the future. But this has taught me so many thing. It has taught me not to love anything above God. It has taught me to put my faith in Him and not on human abilities. And to experience God's best. It was indeed God's Best. Having a year with this little girl- being hands-on and having to raise her everyday has taught me to be abase and abound, to love unconditionally and to pray for my children. I have learned to totally depend on the Lord and to have that personal intimacy with God.
Much has changed this year. A lot has changed. People have come and go. But God reminded me to be faithful to Him, put my trust in Him and not on human capabilities.

We're spending fathers day away from home this weekend. We decided to have a once in a blue moon staycation in manila just spending time with the kids and ofcourse with the hubby. Marriage indeed is anointed and prepared by God. Its God who put two people together and who fits then together. marriage is basically God's design. But men have fallen short of His glory and hus have desecrated marriage for their own pleasure. As a result, broken families and mismanaged marriage are just everywhere. As wives, it is indeed difficult to male marriage work. But as we go along our marriage, dek and i have appreciated and understood how God takes the center stage in our marriage. The main key in making marriage work is going back to God's design. When we align ourselves according to God's heart, everything will follow. Most of the time, pride and self takes control of our relationships and ruin everything. When we start thinking we are more important than our partner, that we know better, we should wake up and recalibrate - its pride running the show. Our marriage has made me and dek look away unto Jesus everyday. It has made us swallow out pride and allow God to tell us jis heart's desire. And its His design

The Lord has taught me an incredible lesson this start of this school year. And it has been an amazing journey of faith. He taught me not to love Oakridge more than Himself and to put my faith in Him. He taught me that Oakridge is simply His. I really praise and thank God for this incredible lesson.
Just before the school year started, the message in church is about God asking Abraham to give up Isaac. It was his way of testing Abraham where His first love is. But Abraham showed full dependence on God and gave up Isaac. In return, God gave him back his Isaac and much much more.
It was an eye opener to me as well. Made me think and pray for God to keep my First Love and not allow the school to preoccupy me. and He reminded me that Oakridge is His ministry and that I have nothing to fear- because people can and go. Everyone are called, but few are chosen - as He kept reminding me. Salvation is not for everyone. Education for God's purpose and God's design is not for everyone.

Mitherhood is the best and most challenging thing inhave ever encountered in my life. No matter how smart, witty or even charming you are, every mother has to go through stages of frustration , challenges and difficulty in handling your child. Especially in this day and age where mothers have been preoccupied with work and worldly pleasures, we have neglected our mothers' instinct and have depended so much on ..... Technology ( tv as a nanny) and househelp.
When i had caitlyn, i have realized and appreciated so many things about motherhood and how God has designed mothers. I appreciate how out master architect has designed everything in our lives - how we got pregnant, how He deaigned marriage and how we rear our children. If we all go back to God's design, how uncomplicated the world will be.
I have some rules i live by in raising my children. I believe that God is our master arhitect and should be the center of our marriage, our family, our child rearing and our work. By achoring our life in God's promises and going back to His design, we will uncomplicate our complicated lives.
1. Pray.
We often times react to everything that happens in our life. We are so reactive. But when we react, we say things we should not say and we do things irrationally. We need to learn to abide in the vine and allow God to work in us. We need to allow God to speak to us about His purpose and design. We need to pray and go back to the vine - connect to the source to make good and wise decisions.
2. Prioritize
Many times we have prioritiZed our work over our family. It shouldnt be the case. Many time i myself fall into this failure. But the more i do this, the more i realize i have been depending on my own strenghh and capabilities and not on Gods. Our children dont need toys and extravagantvtravels. They need time and attention. They need dinner time together where webtalk about what happens in our day and what we are goig through. They need time to share stories, jpkes, dreams, future plans and even emotions. They need time.
3. Plan
I am a major planner. Inplan everything. From the route going to a place to my life's direction to mu child's day schedule, i plan. Ive been plannig all my life. And it has given me security and stability. Withhout my plan , i feel so lost. Without the end in my mind, i feel unmotivated. Plan.
4. Positive thinking
Have you been around parents who just complain about everytjing their chcildren are going through? Their teachers , their doctors, their school, their yaya , their friends - except them are at fault. Isnt that unhealthy?? Focus on the positive. Lifes too short.
5. Listen
Children say the darnest thing. But they do tell yiu what you dont see. My nephews and nieces for that matter share so many things to me that i myself have never realized. They are intelligent and remarkable persons and i thank God for them. Listening is one of the complex skill for a person - but it tales somebody who is mature in life to realize the importance of listening to others - especially to their children.
6. Synergize
In our marriage, dek and i have always balanced each other- hlgave each other stabilty anf strength which meant to so much in our family and work. Its our teamwork that enable us to go through the roughest strong and come out victorious. Now talk anout having a helpmeet. Dek is an epitomy of helpmeet and i jope i am to him.
7. Sharpen the sae
Life long learning is our goal at Oaktridge and it sure is our goal in our family. Being open to criticism and improvement will enable all of us in the family learn from our mistakes and move forward. And it sure is our family's rule for our lifetime.

Everyday has been a day to experience God's prevailing love and His faithfulness. Many times we have lost of faith in God and have refused to anchor our lives on Him. Many times we have put our confidence on our own capabilities and even luck and have stopped trusting and kneeling for God's grace and mercy. Being an anxious person, I have wrestled with God everyday again and again. But His answer to me is the same, "anchor your life on My promises". So tonight, I want to stop, and rest in Him. I want to rest in His goodness and trust Him. I want Him to be the reality of the Goodland- the Land of Canaan. In Genesis, God simply wants His people to stop whatever they are doing and enjoy Him. But instead, they became too busy in their work and have turned their backs on God. Today, I just want to rest and stop and enjoy His goodness. Stop worrying about people, what people think, what people perceives the school, parents' complains, other schools' lies and just simply rest in His goodness. I claim and declare the Lord's victory! I declare that Oakridge is the Lord's and will simply receive blessing upon blessing from Him. Not by might , but by the Spirit.
Tonight, I can hear the Lord remind me about the battle of Jericho. It was not won by might, nor by power. But simply but by the Spirit of Jehovah. Tonight, I claim the same principle and apply it to Oakridge. Oakridge afterall is the Lord's.

Battle of Jericho - Story Summary:

The battle of Jericho featured one of the most astounding miracles in the Bible, proving that God stood with the Israelites.

After the death of Moses, God chose Joshua, son of Nun, to be the leader of the Israelite people. They set about to conquer the land ofCanaan, under the Lord's guidance. God said to Joshua,"Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9, NIV).

Spies from the Israelites sneaked into the walled city of Jericho and stayed at the house of Rahab, a prostitute. But Rahab had faith in God. She hid the spies from the king's soldiers, and when the time was right, she helped the spies escape out a window and down a rope, since her house was built into the city wall.

Rahab made the spies swear an oath. She promised not to give their plans away, and in return they swore to spare Rahab and her family when the battle of Jericho began. She was to tie a scarlet cord in her window as a sign of their protection.

Meanwhile, the Israelite people continued to move into Canaan. God commanded Joshua to have the priests carry the Ark of the Covenant into the center of the Jordan River, which was at flood stage. As soon as they stepped into the river, the water stopped flowing. It piled up in heaps upstream and downstream, so the people could cross on dry ground. God performed a miracle for Joshua, just as he had done for Moses, by parting the Red Sea.

God had a strange plan for the battle of Jericho. He told Joshua to have the armed men march around the city once each day, for six days. The priests were to carry the ark, blowing trumpets, but the soldiers were to keep silent.

On the seventh day, the assembly marched around the walls of Jericho seven times. Joshua told them that by God's order, every living thing in the city must be destroyed, except Rahab and her family. All articles of silver, gold, bronze and iron were to go into the Lord's treasury.

At Joshua's command, the men gave a great shout, and Jericho's walls fell down flat! The Israelite army rushed in and conquered the city. Only Rahab and her family were spared.

Points of Interest from the Battle of Jericho Story:

• Joshua felt unqualified for the monumental task of taking over for Moses, but God promised to be with him every step of the way, just as he had been for Moses. This same God is with us today, protecting and guiding us.

• Rahab the prostitute made the right choice. She went with God, instead of the evil people of Jericho. Joshua spared Rahab and her family in the battle of Jericho. In the New Testament, we learn that God favored her by making Rahab one of the ancestors of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World.

• Joshua's strict obedience to God is a key lesson from this story. At every turn Joshua did exactly as he was told and the Israelites prospered under his leadership. An ongoing theme in the Old Testament is that when the Jews obeyed God, they did well. When they disobeyed, the consequences were bad. The same is true for us today.

• As Moses' apprentice, Joshua learned firsthand that he wouldn't always understand God's ways. Human nature sometimes made Joshua want to question God's plans, but instead he chose to obey and watch what happened. Joshua is an excellent example of humility before God.

Seeking God's Perfect Will

Being anxious is one of the great consequence of sin. When Adam and Eve fell into sin, death was the direct consequence. Then came the other things including fear, malice and anxiety. Being human, the uncertainty of the future can indeed mess up with our head. I for one , am a very anxious person. My biggest fear is the fear of uncertainty. Ive always wanted to be sure. But everyday, the Lord reminds me to anchor my life on Him and to seek His perfect Will...and everything...lietarlly everything will follow. Today, I am declaring that. I want to anchor my life and my future upon the Lord's faithfulness and His grace. It is afterall by His grace that we are where we are today and we will be where we will go in the future.

Ten things to do in dagupan

Today, i want to write about my hometown - dagupan city. I kkow i know - ive always been saying that thheres so much room for improvement in the city. But the city is tich in itself. From its long and deep seated Catholicism history and to its culinary contribution to our country, dagupan is indeed a historical and cultural landmark i want everyone to know.
You can just inagine im writing this out of the blue. Im writing it from my heart. To begin with, i want to start with :
1. A walk in downtown area -
Yes. Its like walkingnin divisoria with all chinese products being sold everywhere. But a stroll at out downtown area while looking at the buildkng in both sides will give uou a flashback of what dagupan was thirty years ago. Same buildings - some even condemned from 1990 earthquake, remnants of the past still vividly shown in the downtown area.
2. Giorgio's pizzeria
Giorgios is the jnly restaurant that survived the 1990 earthquake. Their sizzling gambas is worth the trip.
3. Goring's Palabok
Need i say more. Its a dagupan staple. Their palabok is a reminiscent of the past. Topped with ousters, shrimp and chicharon , its a perfect snack for everyone.
4. Star plaza hotel
I dont intend to bring everyone to check in at star plaza. But having a voffee at their cafe will hive you a view of the burgos bridge - the spot where the battle of dagipan ended and a scenic view of pantal river.
5. Pantal river
Called pantal from the word "pantalan" it used to be a port where big boats come in from china, mindanao , india. It was the only port in northern luzon during he pre hispanic era with its mouth facing south china sea. Its beauty fading as modernization and land reclammation become prevalent in the city. Who knows it might be gone in 5 years and will become the new downtown area.
6. Milles Market
A trip to the milles market will give you a picture of how richnour coty is. The diverse sea products which simplymanifests the beauty and simplicity of living in the province. A good bargain can get you a kilo of lapulapu at 200 pesos and shrimp at 250 pesos.
7. Tondaligan
You have never been to dagupan if you have not seennour beach. Its definitely not the cleanest, but a walk in the beach will be perfect late in the afternoon while catching up with your buddy. A good chillout place- thats tondaligan beach.
8. 100 peso store
Thats right! I dont mean shopping in dagupan. Its like a store of hinese products. But youll be surprise with what you can find in 100 peso store in dagupan- korean stuff, vietnam stuff and thai stuff at reasonable price. It used to be marimar shoe store - a three floor shoe store in dagupan where shoes made in marikina are being sold.
9. Sanitary bakery
10. Kwong tay bakery

Ten yeara ago, while in College, i have asked the Lord to use me for His purpose. The world and all its glory have never been my consideration. I just wanted to bebused forthe Lord's move. Then came Kinder creche. Everything just fell on my lap - with the speaking that the Lord will be using it to reachbout to Dagupenos. Preaching the goal and being a testimony of God was more than enough reason to stay in Dagupan. Five years ago, God opened Oakrige for His move and to intensify His role in Pangasinan. Reaching out to Pangasinense and sowing the seeds of life was the goal. Oakridge is from the very beginning a school with international standards for FILIPINOS. We are not here for other nationalities, we are here to SErVE the filipinos and give them global competitiveness.
Many things has had happened for the past five years, many changes. But one thing is for sure - Oakridge is never for our glory but for God's. The next ten years, the Lord is leading us to touch more families - to share and instill love for country more to more students and parents, to attract more families at Oakridge and to be light and salt in the world.

I have always considered my life and my work as a sacrifice for God's move and for His testimony. Sometimes though i feel like none of it is worth it because people will always have something negative to say . I have seen how the Lord has used Oakridge to minister to other people and be light unto their families and children's lives. I have seen how the Lord has brought our teachers to Himself through the . But the pain, stress and challenge have always been difficult and hard. The Lord has shown me that He will increase when i myself decreased. And i feel that everyday. When i hear parents bash the school, its as if a knife has pierced my heart and stabbed me ten times. But the grace i receive from listening and waiting upon the Lord's hand is more than the satisfaction i get from people's praises. His smile upon me is more than the certificates and awards we can get from metrobank , deped, p&g or even other schools. The Lord has shown me that the secret is obedience to His command and to His word. I really thank and praise the Lord that through His grace we will all see His glory face to face one day. Our sacrifices at school are not in vain because we have been connected to the Lord and have allowed Him to work in us.

I miss writing. I havent found the time to write another entry in this blog since i went back to work. But because of this little escape with co principals and school heads, i had so much time thinking , reflecting and understanding whats important and whats not.
Spending time with other school heads have made me see the future of our province even our country. Their lack of vision, shallowness and inability to make good and wise decision will be detrimental to the next generation of dagupenos. The worst part - dagupan parents think thats okay. I have always thiught trainjng our students to think and make wise decision is the very role of schools and parents. But instead, parents have backstab the school and bad mouth us. They reject something that will lead the next generation to progress. For as long as parents dont see the value of development our next generation cannot move forward. For as long as stupid certificates mean more than learning, our society will be stuck where we are in today.

I have never really wanted the princess mentality. American researches show that the princess mentality or the commercialism and materialism that involves the princess market and princess industry have made our daughters - the next generation to be materialistic and shallow. The continuous expansion of industries promoting and selling princess stuff, princess lifestyle have hampered our daughter's humanistic approach to life. Their ideals became so shallow. Their dream became so materialistic. Thus, we end up with a commercialized and materialistic world.
Today, it is really important that we go to basics and give our children the basic things in life. Our daughters do not need iPads, luxurious 7th birthday parties and gazillion shoes. They just need our time. They need our ears to listen to their stories and dreams. They need us to guide them what to do when things go their way.
This week, we will be having the leadership camp. Aside from the stress of organizing it, I feel the need to pray for everyone in the camp - to do exactly what The Lord wanted.

When I was pregnant with Caitlyn! the hardest thing for me to do is to stop working and take care of myself. It has always been the students and Oakridge came first. Even above myself, my family and even my God. It was the worst feeling -trying to please each add every parent at school.
This year I had the biggest challenge in my life - to trust in The Lord. Many many many times, I have put everything in my hands to fix things at school. And it ended up a disaster. Last night, when I received another news that a lot of people are planning to transfer because they don't like how Oakridge is being run by Tom, I felt soooo bad like a knife cut through my chest. It was even worse than that. I even discussed it with Tom. And he was more than ready to quit. Bug I told him if he quits, I'll say yes to every request parents ask for, homeschool my kids and just do ' bahala na'. Of anyone I have worked with (including remarkable people in Manila), I believe I the direction we are going with Tom's leadership. He may not have the Filipino "ma pr" persona. But he's direct, focused and.... He knows what he's doing. If you ask me, I'll enroll my kids wherever Tom is. Whether he's the principal of some small school in San Fabian or at Oakridge. That's how much I believe in this person. Yes.  We do fight a lot about our ideals. Two idealistic educators usually collide. But it brings forth greater ideas and stronger partnership. If parents think I'm not hands on, I think it's not true. I h been more handson now. Because I have learned to trust in God to take full control.