time

Time is the most precious investment we can ever give to our loved one, what we value most and our dreams for the future. If we love our children so much, we should learn to stop and give our time (actually set our time) to spend with them - to get to know them, to talk to them, to read them stories, to have relationship with them. If we want to have good marriage, we need to set time with our husband- to have dates, to chat, to cuddle. Indeed, time is so precious that it is one of the greatest investment we can ever give to the people who mean a lot to us.
Nevertheless, in this time and age where life has become complicated because of technology and a lot of worldly pleasures, spending time with our loved ones is one of the most difficult thing ever. Having to check social media everyday, reading updates and posts of people we barely know, we end up not having enough time to spend with our children. I really look forward to weekend - especially when we go to Manila. Because its during those time that Ipad, Laptop and even phones are kept- even left in Dagupan, and our 100% will be for the kids and with the kids. I just love that. It reminds me what matters most to me and Dek.
Indeed, parenting has become to difficult today because of technology and other wordly things. We all need God's grace and mercy to give us the prudence and strength to stop using our smartphones, our ipads, our laptop and go back to basics- the most valuable thing in life....building relationships.

Spiritual education

How we raise our children today will determine what kind of future we have. I believe that. That's why it's so crucial that we - mothers are so hands on and careful in raising our children. When we talk to them, when we discipline them, when we make decisions for them and even when we "spoil " them. Filipinos are culturally whiners. We complain about everything and anything, even the smallest detail of our shoes, our shirt, tv ads, our president's smoking habits, our mayor's sexual preferences...we complain about everything. We take everything too personal, when all we need to focus on is "does it work?". We focus on senseless details, when all that matters is "if it's working". And it all boils down to how we we're raise and our values. Being raised in a society where parents simply believe everything they say without investigating the facts, without researching scientific researches, we have a tendency to just blurt out every complain and issues we have without analyzing if it's even worth worrying. In this time where 4g is everywhere, just a click on your smartphone will give you details about everything and anything - we need to train our children to research, get facts, think, analyze, before reacting. We need to make our kids stop being "o.a" and start dealing with life in a very smart way. Thinking is one of the key skills we need to instill in our children. And as parents, we mirror and model these behaviors. If we ourselves think and react a certain way, what do you expect your children to copy and imitate? If we lie in front of our children and tell them "don't imitate me", what in the world are you trying to convey to them?
Parents are the greatest role models of their children. People always think children copy pop stars, teachers, other kids. But the biggest influencer in a child's life is the parents. As parents, we need to continuously ask the Lord's grace and mercy to equip us with prudence and wisdom in handling our children. We need to really stop thinking about ourselves and start focusing on the kids. If we put ourselves first - what we want and what we need, don't you think we will be raising children who are full of themselves as well?

Had agreat chat with a friend today. Was talking about how important it is to spend time with our children in the first seven years of the life. I realized that the best thing I did in my life is to stop working and to focus on my kids. I realized that The Lord has blessed me to realized what's most important for me - not my work, but my family. After all, what will I give to my students if I can't even teach my own kids. Right? More than anything else, this sabbatical leave has recalibrate me in my spiritual walk with The Lord. Praise God, I can officially say that The Lord has restored my first love to Him. It is so true that when you focus your eyes on Jesus, you will realize that everything in this world is vanity of vanities.

Today, I had the opportunity to meet and see the life of two kinds of people -one who has nothing and one who has everything. Early this evening, before going home, we passed by pampanga for dinner. Of course, we ate at Susie's ( dek's favorite palabok and my favorite rice cakes. Susie has been our favorite this year. Not only do they serve comfort food, it's cheap.) while eating, I noticed the staff of Susie's prepare an order of lasagna for this old lady beggar outside the restaurant. He gave it to the security guard and the guard gave it to the old woman. My heart was so touched, I reached out to my husband and told him of what they have done. And he willingly opened his wallet and gave money to the old woman. The waiter started telling us about this old woman who comes to the restaurant to ask for food once in a while, who sends her grandchildren to school and who begs for money. She's basically in her 80s and walks kilometers to look for food and money for her grandchildren. And when I looked at her, she would have that earnest desire to live longer to send her grandchildren to school and to have more opportunity to spend time with her love one. I was so touch I started praying for her on our way back home. 

As we were going back to pangasinan, a friend started texting me about how depressed she is and how she's loosing her mind. Being a good frind, I consoled her. When I heard she ran away without any cash, I told dek we're going to rescue someone tonight and we did. When we picked her up, she started talking about how tired she was, how much she needed antidepressants and how her boyfriend is creeping her out. Apparently, her boyfriend tried to kill himself several times. Her boyfriend - who's wealthy enough to have bodyguards and drivers and people to serve him, a person who need not worry about money and his future, wants to kill himself. I instantly felt this person is empty. Why would someone kill himself if not for the emptiness of his life?  

I suddenly realized how privilege the old woman was having her loved ones to live for. Indeed, it doesn't matter how much you have - but who you have and who you have within you. Life is indeed vanity of varieties when you don't know why you were created and why you live each day. Our human life is way beyond material things of this world and even intellectual things. We are created to be filled with The Lord. We are created for God's purpose and to accomplish what he had planned. Life without Christ is not worth living. I praise The Lord that He has given us reason to live each day. 

The need of Philippine Education

When we talk about the need of Philippine education, I cannot help but rant and list down everything we need to do to fix education system. I feel complied to contribute to the change we need to go through to have transformation in our society. Today at church, pastor peter prayed for theovernment officials and the future of our country, within me, I was like, " I don't think the country will ever change. I don't think the government will ever improve. I don't think we will ever see transformation in our community". That was the skeptic, "realist" teacher ai. But within, I have the longing to see my country improve, progress. And I suddenly heard The Lord speaking within telling me - that's why you're in education. Indeed, The Lord has placed each one of us where we are to change and touch other people, our community, our society, even our country. I have heard one brother say Christians are suppose to be contagious. When Paul was preaching in the early Christianity, people were so attracted to him. Maybe because hew as charismatic. But more because hew as filled with God. So, when we, as Christians are filled with God, we contaminate other people around us - our students, our co teachers, our principal at school ( I know tom have been transformed for the past three years. I know his spiritual side has been 'activated'.), and even the parents. I just pray that more people will come to The Lord through us. I hope and pray that The Lord will continue to use us to be His channel of grace and blessings. I hope we, as God's children can change the landscape of Philippine government and education. That by being Christ filled teachers, we raise the next generation of Filipinos who are. God fearing and who will do what God desires.

I had a great opportunity to hear God's message today at church. The topic was about holiness and how we can be transformed unto the image of God's son little by little everyday. Indeed, this should be our goal, our desire - to be more of Him and to have more of God added into us. I truly appreciate God's timely speaking. When we allow The Lord to reign in our hearts and to have us filled by the Holy Spirit, we will realize that everything in this world are I imply vanity if vanities. Nothing in this world is worth our love. We should never forsake our first love with The Lord. Often, our eyes are clouded by distorted view of happiness and of our purpose in life. We always want something more from the world. But when we see the real cost of sin, and how un satisfying the world is, we will stop and simply pursue The Lord.
Being on a sabbatical leave was the best decision I have made for the last five years. Not only have I focused on myself. I have grown to realize why I am doing what I am doing. I was able to see why The Lord has placed me in this situation and what Oakridge is all about. It was the perfect opportunity for The Lord to show me that I have been commissioned to do His perfect will and to sow the seed of life ats cool. I have seen how the power of. God has brought Oakridge to where it is today. And how by God's grace will it touch more lives, cause for lives to turn to The Lord and see His perfect will. It is such a beautiful realization. Not only have I seen that Oakridge is indeed God's, but I also have seen that I am nothing. None of my skills, my capabilities contribute to oakridge's conquests and success. Everything Oakridge is comes from God Himself. So, whenever we want to compromise the quality of education for the sake of "friendship" and politics, The Lord will indeed punish us for He never compromise. I truly praise and thank God for such a wonderful speaking. It makes me desire to grow more in The Lord and to have Him and His life added more into me.

I always hear the quote, "do what you want to do" quite often in thia cpuntry. Somehow people have the tendency to do what they please regardless of the consequences of their actions. And thats just pathetic. Oakridge teaches our kids to think, analyze the pros and cons of choices before doing or making a decision. I think thats a mark of an educated and cultured person. Ive seen so many people who are just driven by emotions and by what they want that they give up even if they dont have any backup plan. Its just poor planning and no regard for one's future. Its hard to raise the next generation of young leaders. Teaching them good work hanits, diligence and prudence are among the priorities. For me,  honors and the number of poems memorized by the kid do nothing to the child's future. Whats important in life are the skills to survive in the real world and attitude to endure. This is why i believe in oakridge education.

Planning teachers day - thanksgiving dinner for my Oakridge family. It's never easy. I wanted it to be special. Tom wants it no fuss, American style party where there's no program, no speeches. Haha. But I want touch of details...something to make the night special and make our teachers feel that we love them. And so goes my planning skills.
I wanted lanterns, shells, flowers all over the place to give that romantic vibe. I want quotes about teaching and name cards for all the teachers. I want seat plan and all the details. I hope we pull this off.

How should we raise our children? This is probably the hardest decision we have to make in our parenting life. One is that how we raise our children will directly affect how they will take care of us in the future. More than that how we raise our children will be how they will succeed in life. Thus, how we raise our children is the key to how we want to leave a legacy in this world. I am so touched by parents who have chosen to homeschool their children in the primary years so that they can teach academic and spiritual truths to their children at a very young age. I admire their dedication to homeschool - and to do it the right way. Don't get me wrong...I believe Oakridge is the best place for my children. I believe in my Oakridge team and Oakridge passion for teaching. But I also have the inner desire to educate my son. So, every night, before we go to bed, I tell him stories, talk about God's word and teach him spiritual truths that will lay a foundation for him in his life.
I have one major rule in how I raise my children. That is the fear of The Lord. When they have the fear of The Lord, they wouldn't do anything that will make them loose the smile of The Lord upon them. I know that it is sooooo...vague. But so real. It's really a matter of consecrating our children back to God. Remember when God asked Abraham to sacrifice ISaac? Abraham did not think twice because he knows that his son was from God and God's alone.
I believe parenting needs a lot of grace and mercy from The Lord. Humanly speaking , there are a lot of strategies and approaches in training our children. Bu one seems to stand out - biblical parenting. I hope we raise independent, God fearing, smart children who doesn't whine, but who loves The Lord and obeys His will.

I've officially turned off social media and started to walk by faith. Indeed, we tend to be so affected by whats posted online- by what people say, what they think...but we never ask the Lord really what He thinks. It makes me realize how self-absobed we are, how full of ourselves we are. We always say that the Lord will be coming back soon. But how can He come when we ourselves are not ready for His return. We focus so much on our lives, petty things that makes us sad, complaints about the minor details of our lives- when the Lord's intention and heart desire is for Him to built His church. Truly, we need to set our minds on the things that are above- things of the Lord and not of this world. We truly need the Lord's grace and mercy for us to realize it everyday- that we need to be delivered from the self to the cross for His move here on Earth.
I myself feel the guilt- how self absorbed I am when the Lord has been so much faithful to us. It made me stand up today - for the Lord. I remember Lot's wife and what happened to her when she loved Sodom so much. She turned into salt. We should really stop loving the things of this world- the minor details of our lives. We should start focusing on what the Lord desires.

insecurities

Insecurities. This is the biggest battle of human life. Every person is haunted by the uncertainty of the future. People get depressed because of this. People kill themselves because of this. People finds solace in drugs and alcohol. People use other worldly pleasure to divert their attention. Still, Insecurity can be the most dangerous thing in the world today.
Nothing in this world is permanent and sure. Everyting can pass away. Thats why we need the Lord Jesus. He is the only sure, constant thing in this world. He is our blessed assurance, our security, our comfort, our way, our light, our truth , our all in all.

I'm going to apologize for this ranting again. Its just that I cannot contain this anymore. This is driving me crazy and paranoid. And I really need to let it out.
Its just that I feel like everything we are doing for the kids are taken forgranted by the kids themselves and the parents. We have given so much - from class preparation, to delivery, execution, afterschool support and even prayers, but it seems like everything we have done has been in vain. This is what Im talking about. When you love what you are doing so much that you put your heart and soul, you get too emotional and attached when people say things about the work that you do. But I also know that Oakridge and what we do in Oakridge is not from us, from our own capacity, but comes from the Lord. I know that all these hardwork will just be in vain, because the content and source of everything at school is the Lord Himself. I know the Lord is doing His work to decrease the self in oakridge and more of Himself will shine. Oakridge is a consecrated school for the Lord's move. It is not out of our own capacity or skill that Oakridge teaches, and even leads the community today. Whenever a student complains, a parent criticize the school, it makes me realize more that it is not mine, nor ours...it is the Lord's.
I dont know about tomorrow. I just live from day to day. I dont borrow from its sunshine for its skies may turn to gray. I dont worry over the future for I know what Jesus said. Today, I'll walk beside Him for He knows what is ahead.

Last night, I was not really able to sleep. A parent of a former sped student is bad mouthing the school saying we hit her kid when I know 100% we didn't. I was there. Not possible the kid was hurt. The mom's baseless accusation is dragging the name of the school down. Me - pissed off and angry at what she is doing. If I was to enumerate the many many sacrifices we have done for her kid, it will be so fast her head would turn. Imagine this mom who wanted "yaya" services from the school. She refuse to teach the child at home, refuse to take care of the kid after class and wanted "extended " services like swimming and after school. She would rather leave the kid at school than spend time with her kid. But this situation is not new to me. I have encountered many many parents like this. I'm sorry. I don't intent to be self righteous, but I do love spending time with my children. I look forward to my bonding time with them. Our conversation, our hugs, our kisses makes my day complete. In fact, the best time I have with Nathan is driving to Dagupan, doing grocery together and chatting and singing in the car. So, don't get me wrong! I just don't understand parents who refuse to spend time with their kids.
But after an evening of contemplation , I realized how evil my heart is...how much I needed the Lord's forgiveness and sanctification. How defiled my heart is when people hurt me, my staff, and what we do! Then I remember that Oakridge is of the Lords. I am reminded that everything the school is about is of The Lord. So, I have nothing to be angry about. People ( not of The Lord but of the world) will always persecute God's people. They will put whatever work God has. But all we need to do is to forgive and pray for them.
Forgiveness is one of the hardest thing for me to do. One thing is because of pride, I wanted and expected people to make sure their actions don't hurt anyone. My expectations of other people's action is so high, it seems impossible. But The Lord does know where to discipline and hit us.

Resilience.....

It can be one of the most important skill we can teach/ instill to our children. But it can also be the hardest. Children today have been raised being given everything they need and want. Their tolerance for hardwork and pain is tooooo low. Their ability to adapt to change is too poor. But teaching resilience is basically preparing these kids for future success in college and in life.
I believe it has also something to do with the way parents treat their kids nowadays. Parents are so focus on career that giving in to their children's want so as to shut them up will give them peace and quiet they want after a hard day's work. But these "giving in" is doing more harm than help. Its an immediate solution to keep the kids preoccupied. But the lack of waiting, perseverance and delayed gratification will lead the next generation to be impulsive, spoiled and weak. What will happen to the next generation?

Ive been watching discovery's " waterfront cities of the world". Downloaded it and have been watching it for sometime now. Its about urban planning and how these countries/ cities have planned their cities to meet modernity. Its so amazing! Even astounding to see cities who planned, fixed their problems to cope with the changing lifestyle of their people, to cope with global warming - the sudden rise of sea water, the change in climate and weather disturbances. Really beautiful! Really wished every filipino watch it, wish every filipino "politiko" watch it. If you passion for public service, if you really feel you want to change the landscape of Philippine society , better look, study how other cities and countries have done it, dont just go travel and relax in thse cities. Study, learn from them. Learn their very motive why hey wanted to change their place, why hey had to do all these sacrifices for their nation.
Urban planning is non existent in Philippine geography and Phiilippine politics. We have city admnistrator, we have city engineer in every local government unit. But no city planning. We probably have a city planning department where they approve every proposed roadwork projects, allocate money. But they dont really do the research, the study on how our cities can really cope with the changing times, how we canimprove he landscape of our city with long term goals. And thats where all the problem begins. When we neglect planning, focus on "projects" instead of strategically planning every project toward one common goal (long term), we will not go through the flood we go through every year. We will notgo through the prolem of  waste disposal every year. It all involves planning, researching ,studying and thinking. We dont just fix all the symptoms. We treat the disease. If every filipino will stop tolerating such a lack of planning in our communities, we will stop the misuse of our government funds and start allocating funds for big projects that will really save our cities from future destruction.

Education play a huge role in 'changing' the landscape of philippine society today. If we raise the next generation with the character to progress and to be proactive, i believe we will eventually have a different Philippines. But it involves a lot of partnershp with parents. I believe Oakridge parents have seen the realities of Philippines society, wanted change and wants our country to progress. With this, we need partnership. Everytime we want 'shortcuts' in our chldrens's education, we think again if thats best. Remember it all begins in small things. When we learn to compromise our standards in a small way, we will eventually compromise our principles in a big way. Everything starts small. If we raise our children knowing how to follow rules, obey parnts, not take shortcuts, value hardwork, not compromise, not be a mediocre - i believe we are in a road to a progressive Philippines. But if we give in to every little requests - can i use ipad 5 minutes lang? Can i skip reading tonight lang? Can i not eat vegetables now lang? , we will instill a culture of compromise and tolerance that causes the very big problem in our society today.

We always say that its a cultural problem-deeply rooted, almost impossible to correct. But if we have that kind of mindset - so apathetic and passive, surely Philippines does not have any hope to progress. But if each tax payer stand up for a systematic, structured government , i know we can make a difference.
I recalled one historian talk about the 'cycle' of Philippine politics. Taxpayers pay taxes, politician get taxes, and during election, the same same the given to the poor to get majority votes. Taxes dont really benefit taxpayers. Its like the circle of life in the Philippines. Thus, the poor doesnt relly have the intrinsic motivation to progressed. Why? Politicians give them money in exchange of votes.
Do you know that Pork Barrel in the 1920s in the US was really used to gain political favors? The thing is US changed. They scraped it when they realized the misuse. The problem with. Our society today is we know theres a misuse, we know we need to scrap it. But i bet you dollars to donuts, pork barrel will still be there next year. Why? We live in a society where people are so apathetic, passive that people simply accept things the way they are.
To tell you the truth, I wont.

With all the news about Pork Barrel scam hitting every newstand and every filipino channel for he past few weeks, we cannot help but wonder if this is another case of issue in the philippines where everybody talks about it for a month and eventually forget after nother kris aquino news or claudine raymart issue or probably a sex video scandal. I hope not. As Senator Miriam Santiago has explained it, it is an "organized system of graft and corruption" . I couldnt agree with her more. but we should not just focus on the issue, we should solve the very disease/virus rotting our society. We should sop focusing on the "symptoms" and start dealing with the disease. The very problem with our society is we all know these are happening, but chose to accept it, be forgiving and live with it. True, theres nothing wrong with forgiveness. But not in building a nation - or in our case rebuilding the nation. We should stop compromising all our laws to fit in every injustices and malicious practices in our country, even in our lives. I remember Pastor Peter Tanchi talk about how God has called us to be come to the full knowledge of His word, to speak forth Christ and be testimony. But if we compromise, bend God's word to be politically correct in the world, we will not give justice to God's calling. It is the very problem in our society today. The strength that we all call in filipino culture - the ability to adjust and be flexible, is the very reason why our country has not progressed over these decades. We bend every rules, laws to fit our preferences and to give way to pakiusap, favors and personal interests. If we choose to excuse one from the law/ rule to serve his/her preferences,we loose the very reason why rules and laws are established.
This morning, i was lookingfor drivers' handbook in the philippines. After checking lto website, i found nothing. Nada! With all the accidents and traffic violations that happens everyday, we can probably minimize 50% of that by giving each driver a handbook. But he very problem in driving in the philippines is there are no rules. Everything is about 'diskarte' or the ability to survive in the road. Seriously?!

Special Education has been something the Lord has given me. It was a task no one wanted. But being a school that cares , its somehow our obligation to do it- and to do it right. And so, we spend 80% of our time to research and studies- going back to schools, universities, talking to fellow educators in the country and abroad and getting to know developmental pediatricians in the country. Its really a task full of hardwork and dedication. If you didnt really love what you do, you wouldnt really do it.
But Special Education is a difficult task that needs cooperation between parents and the school. We need parents to understand the goal of Special Education / Inclusion at Oakridge. We need parents to realize that what we are doing is real education- not a day care center, not even a tutorial. We educate them to learn, cope and even thrive in the community. We educate them to even go to college. Thus, they are given equal rights, equal benefits and responsibilities as regular children. But we expect more from Parents. We expect parents to do 200% more than parenting a regular child. As the school does 300% more than teaching a regular child, we need parents to do the heavy lifting as well.

We begin the school year with blank notebooks, pages fresh and clean. Backpacks are free of crumbs and leaked box drinks. Children wake up early in anticipation. We try to get to school a bit before the morning bell and start the year off on the right track.

But slowly the familiar patterns start to appear. The kids are going to sleep way past bedtime, waking up with just a few moments to spare. A child leaves his notebook in school and must scramble to find a friend whose fax machine is working. Nights spent struggling over homework for hours, studying for tests left for the last minute, assignments forgotten, cliques and social politics – it feels as if we are going backwards instead of forward.

How can we make this year different from all the others? How can we take our hopes and wishes for positive change and turn them into a reality?

Transition between summer and school can be difficult for children – and for parents. Any change in life can bring nervousness, worry, and irritability. Children often have a hard time adjusting to new situations, unfamiliar teachers, and the more rigid schedule needed during the school year. When feeling overwhelmed, our kids may express their emotions through becoming argumentative, fighting more often with siblings, or withdrawing into themselves. And parents can find it difficult to keep calm and not lose themselves in anger when things don't go right.

Instead of just accepting that this is the way our home is meant to be, let us think about reachable goals that we can work on. When we create a plan, we can do away with unnecessary failures and strive to help our children feel and be more successful.

My 5 Parenting Goals

1. Keep My Eyes Open

Sometimes we notice that something does not feel right with a child but we get distracted. We are all very busy, it’s true. We have great pressures and responsibilities pulling us in too many directions. The child who seems a little ‘off’, not himself, snappy or more quiet than usual is trying to tell us something. But it is easy to tuck this information away in a back pocket and only realize that something is wrong when a crisis occurs. We then think back and recognize that the signs were there, we were just too preoccupied to pay attention.

Don’t allow problems with your child to fester and grow. Open your eyes and observe if a child seems sad, withdrawn, distant, more moody than usual, or angry. Recognize if there seems to be greater confrontation between this child and siblings, if friends stop calling or coming over, or if the child can’t seem to find his place in school. Because before you know it, half the year can go by and what could have been a small problem has now become a ‘situation’ that requires major time and investment and causes terrible aggravation.

2. Develop a Working Relationship with Teachers

Reach out to your child’s teachers before your child reaches ‘zero hour.’ Many parents feel as if teachers are their opponents and don't realize that we are are all here to try and help our children grow in the best way possible. If you think that there may be an issue, it is a good idea to set up a meeting with the teacher and ask how you can work in harmony. Too many parents call teachers to demand and accuse instead of saying that we would like to solve this problem together. Before going to the principal with a complaint, see if you can first diffuse the situation.

If there are any special concerns going on in your home, do not wait for the teacher to find out through your child’s acting up in class or failure to keep up with schoolwork and poor grades.

When a grandparent falls ill, if there is a health issue, financial stress, marital upheaval, problems with siblings, or any other factor that may affect your child’s academic or social success, it would be wise to enlist your child’s teacher as your confidential ally and gain her/his understanding. You can believe that most teachers would go the extra mile and extend to your child an open heart.

3. Work on Social Skills

Help your child be successful this year by preparing him not just academically, but also socially. School is not simply about getting straight A’s, it is also about learning how to get on with others and knowing how to develop friendships. A child who is happy in school is a child who can focus on studying and doing well. He wants to be there and be a part of things. One who believes that school is all about academics and no social life unfortunately makes a big mistake.

How can we better teach our children social skills?

• Set rules and follow through with consequences when needed.
• Set routines for meals and bedtimes that establish stability.
• Develop your child’s ability to put himself in the shoes of others and grow more sensitive.
• Help your child learn how to express frustration, disappointment and anger without hurting others or retreating into sullenness.
• Establish basic rules of conduct: no hitting, kicking, biting, spitting, (no hands allowed), and no hurting others through our words.

4. Help Children Become Independent

When children feel as if they are gaining skills and becoming self-sufficient, they grow more confident in their abilities. You will watch their self-esteem take off. Each year, every child should be able to point with pride to a newfound skill or added responsibility that comes with age.

We can help our children grow independent and flourish by:

• Teaching our children to pick out their clothing, dress themselves as they grow older, tie their own shoes, pack school snacks, make lunches the night before, set their own alarm clocks instead of waking them up, and having children put away their books and organizing themselves.
• Allow a young child to complete puzzles and feed himself on his own and as he grows, to do his homework and projects by himself. It is much healthier to tell a child that you will check his work when he is done instead of sitting beside him and correcting the answers as he goes along. Book reports and science projects should not be parent’s homework.
• Have your child help around the house and gain responsibilities instead of waiting to be served. Some skills children can help with are putting away laundry, setting and clearing the table, helping to serve guests, baking, cooking and keeping their room in order.

5. Communicate with Each Child

Our children should never be afraid to speak with us. No matter how tough the topic, even if they messed up badly, they should not fear that we will hate them or want to close the door on them. Our love must be unconditional. True, there may be consequences or emotions of disappointment, but they must know that we are here for them. After all, we are their parents and if they cannot believe in our love for them, whose love can they believe in?

Work on communicating with your child this year. I am not just speaking about when you must call him in with a problem like failing grades or after you received a call from his teacher. I am talking about daily interactions where you share a smile, a good word, a laugh, a story, or a meal together. The main thing is that you put the time and energy in so that he knows that he matters in your life.

• Talk to your child every day-even if it’s just for a few minutes.
• Put down your iPhone , turn off your laptop when your child (or you) return home, at mealtimes and story times, and when you pick your child up from school. Look at him and make eye contact while having a conversation.
• Speak to your child in the tone and with the words that you wish he would use with others.
• Express your love every day, no matter how tough the day.

I know that some days will bring unforeseen difficulties and that some children seem more challenging than others. But at least we will know in our hearts that we have tried our best to help our children navigate the road of life successfully.