I have never really wanted the princess mentality. American researches show that the princess mentality or the commercialism and materialism that involves the princess market and princess industry have made our daughters - the next generation to be materialistic and shallow. The continuous expansion of industries promoting and selling princess stuff, princess lifestyle have hampered our daughter's humanistic approach to life. Their ideals became so shallow. Their dream became so materialistic. Thus, we end up with a commercialized and materialistic world.
Today, it is really important that we go to basics and give our children the basic things in life. Our daughters do not need iPads, luxurious 7th birthday parties and gazillion shoes. They just need our time. They need our ears to listen to their stories and dreams. They need us to guide them what to do when things go their way.
This week, we will be having the leadership camp. Aside from the stress of organizing it, I feel the need to pray for everyone in the camp - to do exactly what The Lord wanted.

When I was pregnant with Caitlyn! the hardest thing for me to do is to stop working and take care of myself. It has always been the students and Oakridge came first. Even above myself, my family and even my God. It was the worst feeling -trying to please each add every parent at school.
This year I had the biggest challenge in my life - to trust in The Lord. Many many many times, I have put everything in my hands to fix things at school. And it ended up a disaster. Last night, when I received another news that a lot of people are planning to transfer because they don't like how Oakridge is being run by Tom, I felt soooo bad like a knife cut through my chest. It was even worse than that. I even discussed it with Tom. And he was more than ready to quit. Bug I told him if he quits, I'll say yes to every request parents ask for, homeschool my kids and just do ' bahala na'. Of anyone I have worked with (including remarkable people in Manila), I believe I the direction we are going with Tom's leadership. He may not have the Filipino "ma pr" persona. But he's direct, focused and.... He knows what he's doing. If you ask me, I'll enroll my kids wherever Tom is. Whether he's the principal of some small school in San Fabian or at Oakridge. That's how much I believe in this person. Yes.  We do fight a lot about our ideals. Two idealistic educators usually collide. But it brings forth greater ideas and stronger partnership. If parents think I'm not hands on, I think it's not true. I h been more handson now. Because I have learned to trust in God to take full control.

i feel horrible. parents tell me they dont like how the school is running. and when i come here and spend the morning, i see and realize that we are doing More than we should. we are the only school that actully teaches students to think, make decisions and be independent. but when [parents complain, it seems like we are the worst school in town. its just frustrating and infuriating how people dont see the value of whats important in life. true! we dont make kids memorize. if they expect their kids to memorize bunch of stupid stuff, oakridge is not for them. i am almost tempted to make tom just make parents happy by saying what they wanna hear and just doze off at work.

Last night, we watched wolf of wallstreet, a pretty good Leonardo da caprio movie. It's a great movie that shows how anxiety and love for money can cripple a man. It shows the danger of lust and of money. It made me realize how important it is to be in tune with God to know God's purpose and will in our lives.
I have to admit I myself have that evil nature to love mammon of unrighteousness and the world. It made me realize how much grace I need. For as long as we are connected to the Lord and flee youthful lust, we can truly overcome the world and it's evil ways.

Had a great afternoon with a brilliant mind. Spent time talking about our travels and our view of the world. Spent time talking about how we need to raise our children in this day and age.
After a beautiful afternoon, my world crashed. I saw one of our lola in the school. She immediately said, "kaya lang kami nagstay dahil sayo." My world crash right there. They stayed in Oakridge because of me? why? I am not worthy. I am full of defects. If they think I am the one thats putting everythign together at school, you got it all wrong. Its not me. Its not Tom. its not dek. its God himself that keeping everything together. Everything at Oakridge is by grace. I feel so unworthy to be said na ako yun reason why they stay. Infact, I believe they shouldnt. the whole point in being at Oakridge is for the change in our society- to bring about revival. to follow God's eternal will and to deviate from corrupted educational system of Dagupan City. I believe we are giving 150% more at Oakridge. Sad thing is parents dont understand and appreciate that. What they want is getting their way, asking for favors and having someone pep talk with them. It was just so negative. The lola was saying how the teacher did not allow her granddaughter to attend math remedial, and then suddenly allowed her to. I really dont understand how making people wait will immediately mean we are ineffective. Infact, we are the only school that has math remedial. we dont need to. but its the right thing to do. Cant people be appreciative of that? Dont they see that we are the only school TEACHING?  Everyday its like putting my head across a concrete wall! I need grace. I need faith.

Be proactive. As we always teach the kids at school. But being a woman, I really tend to react every time someone tells me something with even analyzing and contemplating on something. It's my biggest challenge and my biggest failure towards God. I often fall from grace when people say something negative. I tend to counter attack which I will surely regret after. Thus, I needed so much grace. Yesterday, I've learned to stop and pray before acting on something. I've learned to trust in The Lord. It was the hardest thing to do. It's truly against my nature to not react. But apparently my not reacting on something resulted in so much grace. When I prayed and talked to The Lord, he simply gave me answers to my questions and reminded me that all I have to do is ask. I really praise God that we have a Heavenly Father. That everything in our lives happen with a reason and with a purpose. Nothing is by accident. Yesterday, I watched last Sunday's message at ccf app ( you can download it for android and os. Just search ccf at play store or App Store. After download, you can go to messages and start watching services and even go live streaming every Sunday). Anyway, pastor Peter was talking about how science and the bible are not contradicting, but supporting each other. I believe that. I believe science will even testify that the Bible is true. And the theory of evolution is simply saying life is just caused by accident or chance. Our existence is simply caused by chance. I do not believe that. I believe everything happened with a reason according to God's heart's pleasure for his eternal economy. And because of that, there's meaning in our human life and we strive each day to be ready for his coming.

I had another mountain last night. I was actually faced with the same dilemma I face  since we stated moving towards structured system at school. A dad asked me to return a confiscated phone and not go through the procedure (which is to have the parents get the phone). He said the phone was confiscated last year. It's been a month. Inside, I wanted the dad to just go to school and get it. But at the same time, I understand he's busy. I actually just want to fix the problem. I was caught in a situation where I am stuck between a structured system in a lawless world ( the philippines). Where should we stand? Then as I got frustrated, I told dek I don't want Oakridge anymore. It's giving me too much headache and .....heartache. I just want to focus on the kids. But he sat beside me and told me that God placed us in this situation with a purpose. Any times, we do not ant conflict and would just rather live our own lives. I hate having to fix other people's problems when I have my own. But I know Oakridge is the Lord's and the Lord's commission to is and I actually was not able to sleep last night saying I don't want it anymore. It was like giving up on God. I just felt so sorry and needed much consoling and speaking from The Lord.
This morning, I started my day reading our daily bread online. Such a beautiful morning! The Lord spoke and reminded me that in this chaotic world, we need to see things according to hod's perspective and in view of the eternal glory. Everyday, whenever I face parents' ranting, I feel like I fail them everyday. I failed to give in to their every request. But whenever I see the results of national and international exams, I know we are doing the right thing. Because we are strict. We take things seriously. And we train the kids for life.  The thing is I hope parents see that and appreciate that.

parenting

Hi!!! I'm back! After taking a two week break from technology, I'm finally back for more sharing and parenting ideas. I really praise God for giving us 2013 to learn from. I had one if the most challenging g year, but I have learned one great lesson last year - to trust in the Lord for He us in control. Many times i have out everything in my hands, fix according to what I think is right. To tell you the truth, many times it leads to chaos. I realized and learned that the only way for me to conquer my mountains is through kneeling down and pray. I had a great 6 months of quiet solitude with the Lord. And it's the sweetest encounter I had of Him. I am looking forward to more mountains to conquer not
by might, but by the Spirit.

Happy holidays!

It's the time of the year when everything gets busy! Christmas rush! The last two years, we spent Christmas abroad. So, it's kinda nerve wrecking again to have Christmas in the Philippines. Just the thought of preparation, cooking and relatives visiting give us that Christmas pain. But it's good to spend Christmas with family. It's good to spend Christmas at home.

Resilience has always been said to be the greatest trait of Filipinos. OFWs go abroad, search for a better life, adapt and succeed.  That's 11 million Filipinos scattered around the world - striving and soaring high. But are we really resilient? Or have Filipinos who stayed just chose to be passive while waiting for the support from OFW relatives?
I always get this complain or comment from the parents. "My kid is not happy." I cannot grasp that. I do not know how to handle that kind of complain. Happiness is so subjective. I can be happy stuck in the library while others will find that boring. It is soooooo vague. But parents have pampered their children so much that they give whatever they need ( that's okay) and they want. We need to train our children to adapt to different environment, to adjust. I always believe that happiness should not be determined by external things, but should be internal and intrinsic in one personal. It's what we call security. When we give our children security - love, peace of mind, I don't think they will ever need the affirmation from their environment.
The problem with parenting today is parents are soooo busy with other things - cellphones, androids, iPads, pcs, Facebook, that raising and spending time with their children is on the last of their "things to do". I remembered pastor peter talking about how he'd always make time to talk and chat with his children regardless of his schedule. His wife gave up work to spend time with the kids. Money can just go so far. But our relationship and communication with out children brings in respect, trust, faith, love and hope that will lead our children to their future, our family to the next generation. Heritage is not the amount of money or the big empire we pass on to our children. Heritage is our family culture and values lived and passed on to our children and our children's children. If we teach and pass on to our children our faith in God , our love for The Lord and our devotion to grow in life and faith, I believe the next generation of Dulays will be God fearing, God loving, perseverance and faithful Steward of God's kingdom and testimony.

I just encountered a battle today. The kind of battle that makes you stop - pause whatever you are doing and recalibrate. I even asked dek if dagupan really is not ready for quality and real learning. Then I remembered how local private school do teaching and learning. Last month, I was invited to observe one of the biggest private school in dagupan city. People have always labeled them as the 'it' school - doing everything right...they have oral exams, they have monthly awards, they have killer exams and they hired my rejected teachers (seriously!) . And so, I entered and observed their class. Their "great" teacher entered, brought out Manila paper and started making kids copy crap from the board. I was actually so clueless what they he'll they were doing. And I kinda realized it's their lessons. Of course having 5 Manila paper posts in front and making the kids copy everything on the board consumed the rest of the hour. And by the way, their classes are in 30 minute interval.
So, to make my story short that was their lesson - their class. Teachers make kids copy bunch of stuff, kids don't learn anything and thus go to tutors. Tutors are non- education graduate and makes kids memoriz bunch on irrelevant facts and parents are so happy their kids are so busy. Is that education? Is that learning? Is that quality?
Sometimes I scratch my head when they question everything we do at Oakridge, when all I see is real and genuine learning and teaching happening everyday. But if oh ask me , I still believe Oakridge is the best school.

Just need a refresher....a few hours back at oakidgeschool list my hair on fire! I just need a breather! Am I crazy or what? A grandma complaining today why we don't teach handwriting in writing class....told her writing class is for writing paragraphs, essays, research papers and thesis - not handwriting. Handwriting is an individual thing. You want your daughter or won't o improve his or her handwriting techniques, teach her....I really don't get why some people don't get that?! Is handwriting more important than the content of their essay? Duh?!!!!

Have a greats Friday,

We tried putting pearl necklace on my baby girl and it was just so adorable. I can't  deny the fact that we loooove pearls!

Being content and thankful

1. Being thankful
The Lord said in the bible, "in everything give thanks". We have often neglected to give thanks in small and big things that come our way. We neglect saying thanks to those who's serve us - from the yaya who helps us int he house, to the waitress in the restraints , and to our husbands. We don't say thanks because we feel we are entitled. This entitled mentality has corrupted even our relationship with other people. We feel that we have the right to be served. This kind of entitled mentality is what hinders us from being thankful and grateful.
2. How one keeps complaining and seeing what's wrong
We have always been complaining - from big things in our country to small things in our daily lives. I actually am guilty in this part. We tend to do self pity and see everything that's wrong in our life , and not realized that he lord has blessed us so much. I have a friend who does complain a lot. He complains about how his uncle ( who manages the company) lives a luxurious life, while they live a simple one. How their uncle goes to fine dining restaurants, while their family simply goes to middle class restaurants. Everyday , he complains about his uncle. Then, one sau, I just had it and told him, how blessed he is and how he should stop comparing his life with his uncle's. Often, we keep comparing our lives to other people and we pity ourselves. But why compare? The Lord does give each one of us talents according to our measure. If we are prudent and faithful stewards, The Lord will bless us with more.
3. Ungrateful heart
Our character and attitude is a manifestation of what is in our hearts. When we keep on complaining and comparing our lives with others, God will see that what we have in our heart is deceit. We really need to allow The Lord tore new us day by day, hat our heart be cleansed our spirit be burning with fire for The Lord. We need tor ealize that having an ungrateful heart is having evil in our hearts. It corrupts and usurps our being. I have met some people who are consumed by their pride. Because of pride in their heart, they refuse to show emotion - love towards their children and humility towards others. Because of their pride, they want to maintain a "macho" image forever. But real strength comes when we show humility and God's power strengthens us within. Real power comes from God, not from human capabilities. Real victory and success comes from God's power working within us.
4. Problem in our culture - complain
Last night, we had a great chat with a mom at school. She's also a dear friend. She has been experiencing a lot of challenges and problems in her personal life. Then we talked about how people (I.e parents) in the Philippines over reacts , attacks and insults teachers. People have lost their respect to teachers and have treated them like yayas. Remember the mom I told you about who's id she's busy running her business to pick up her kid, so the teachers should take care of her child? It's not jus one mom. Filipino parents have treated teachers like that. I have friends who are teaching in Manila who have been encountering the same thing. Parents - people have been so self absorbed that they complain about everything and anything. It's like a white sheet of paper with a tiny black dot in the middle.t hey focus on the black dot, than appreciate and make use of the whole white big part. It's micro- manage over macro manage. That's Filipino culture.  And we need to move pass this.
5. Secret to contentment
And the key is to learn to be content. We really need to ask The Lord to grant us a thankful heart, to learn to be content. We live in the society - in a world where everything leads to another. We keep on wanting for more. Materialism and commercializations have corrupted what's important in life. We need to see that it's not what God has planned for us. When God created us! it was not to buy stuff, or. To be fashionable. We need to realize the purpose of clothing, our housing, of cars, of food. Being consumed by "buying" mentality will simply make us worldly. And God is very clear in His word. " we are not for this world, nor of this world."

Submission to God's annointed

Submission to authority is the hardest thing a person should do in his life. We always think we are better and we know better. From our own parents to our husband to our local government officials to president, we always think we know better. How often do we neglect the rules, because we think it doesn't apply to us? How often do we ignore our parent's request and command because we thought its old fashioned? How often do we take our boss' instruction for granted because we think it's stupid?  Almost always. Human beings are born with a rebellious nature. But through God's grace and mercy, we learn to submit and trust in The Lord. Submission to authority is simply knowing and trusting that God is in control. People are in position, in authority not because of human interference, but because of God's sovereign arrangement.

Loopholes of parenting in the PHILIPPINES

I have always heard people saying, "The benefits of parenting in the philippines is having a yaya." While that it true, it also manifests how parents - Filipino parents have relied on yayas in parenting and raising the children. If majority of mothers in the country choose to work and depend on yayas - non biological, uneducated individuals to discipline and raise the next generation, what will happen to the next generation? I have often caught Nathan's yaya stare at the television and ignore Nathan. OFTEN! I have often caught his yaya shout at him. No wonder kids today think yelling and shouting are normal. I OFTEN caught her teaching wrong pronunciation to words. You can just imagine what kind of kids we will be having ....bisaya Filipino kids! I don't wanna put my kids' nannies down. But my point is disciplining and raising the kids should never be delegated to the yaya. As parents, we have the sole responsibility of training and raising our children. From ages 0 to 7, installing values and training should be our number one priority. Jot giving them material and financial support. As mothers, our primary goal is to give them strong family and biblical values that will guide and support their decisions in the future. We cannot just delegate this tasks to other people - yaya, school, tutors, etc. it's our job.

The problem with parents nowadays is that they are more scared to loose the nanny than to see their kids get hurt. We out our comfort above our kids. We think we will become Paralyzed when we don't have yaya. That's wrong! Millions of parents around the world survived without yayas. We should put our kids first.

Parenting is not a birth right, but a privilege. Pastor peter and Brother Francis kept reiterating last Saturday at the parenting seminar. Indeed, parenting is the hardest and most challenging thing we can ever do in our life -especially as mothers. Times have changed so much that both mom and dads have focused on work and careers to give all the material things and to uplift the standards of living of families. But what profits a man and a woman that he gains the whole world - acquires so much possession , but fails in raising their children. We kept on saying, 'my parents realized me this way. And it worked." How can you say that it really works when we - in our generation have failed miserably in making good decisions, following rules, respecting those in authority and ignored the Lord's speaking within? Acquiring material things is not a proof of successful parenting. Successful parenting is simply the inculcation of strong values that will guide the children in their decision making and in becoming a person according to God's heart. 

My baby girl is turning 8 months today! It seems like yesterday when I was waiting for her to come out. Now, it's been 8 months and she has grown a lot. She has been responding actively to everything around her. Her laughter of course brightens our home everyday. Her feeding schedule is still as crazy ( round the clock) . And breastfeeding is the best thing I have done for my children. I have never thought I can breastfeeding this much and this long. But it has been amazing. When I stop going to school to dedicate my time to The Lord, to my children and to my family, I have realized the most important thing in life - balance. I remembered my first child, I spend more time working than spending time with him. I have exerted all my efforts raising other people's children and neglected mine. I have made myself miserable by wasting my time trying to fix what I cannot fix in the first place. I end up not having genuine and real relationship with my son. You cannot turn back time. He cannot be an infant nor a toddler anymore. Wasted time is wasted time. It's wasted opportunity. I realized that all my efforts for the past yow years are just taken in vain. All my sacrifices for the school is just vanity of vanities. Going back to The Lord, I have seen that I need to set my eyes on Jesus. I have seen that fixing and making sure my family and spiritual life is strong to lead and inspire others at school is the key. And that's what I am doing.


By God's grace.

I have one stressful situation today at Oakridge. One parent has been complaining because the teaches and the principal have called her to pick her son up on time. It's been three years and the same scenario happens everyday - she drives her son to school LATE and pick him up LATE ( like in the evening). Of course being a very proactive school, we ask our teachers and even we ourselves stay with the student ( just to make sure nothing happens to him). But when we called the mom in today and told her to drive and pick up her son on time, she started talking about how we need to understand her, how she's juggling being a mom and being a businesswoman and how she's paying the school anyway. Of course, she just left answer felt disturbed after that.
Many many times we neglect other people's rights, feelings, situations. We are just so self absorbed that e complain every minor details in our lives and we disrespect other people's time. Teachers - specialLy Oakridge teachers are the highest level of professionals in the city I have ever met. They are expected to perform with the best academic and teaching skills, intestinal fortitude and more than anything moral values. They have met international standards and have been pursuing high expectations from both the admin and International educational community. Thus, they deserve to be treated with respect. RESPECT simple.
Many many times parents treat the teachers like nannies. They even say , "we pay them". That's one of the most demeaning things they can ever so. Because as teachers, we do not work for parents. We work for the LORD. We area countable to The Lord to shepherd, raise and teach the students He has given us. We do not work for parents. We work for our country. To produce highly competent ! Dedicated and patriotic FILIpinos who will bring our country to progress. We do not work for parents. We work for Oakridge's vision which is in line with God's stewardship and God's perfect will.
Thus, teachers need respect. Teachers need appreciation. Teachers need partnership. Parents need to stop treating us like the 'enemy'. And should start dealing with us as partners who will help them raise responsible, independent and self driven individuals who can make a difference everyday.

Reading foreign journalists' reports and blog about the typhoon ahi yan and the response of our government to the affected areas, I cannot help but wonder, "will Filipinos change our ways, our priorities in life, our way of choosing government officials, our "un systematized"  approach to situations and our culture?" It is clear we need a culture change. Not that we need to remove the loving, kind-hearted nature of Filipinos. But we need to start seeing that we should plan, we should be ready and we should stop the "Bahala na " attitude.
It funny and a bit alarming when one journalist said before helping out in the Philippines, you need to have some level of tolerance on chaos. That's so true. Not just in typhoon hit areas. Once you reach the country, you need to be ready for chaos. Once the plane lands at NAIA, you will be welcomed by taxi drivers , hotel representatives, tour guides that offer packages and bunch of people waiting. If you jut came from a 12 hour flight, wouldn't you feel clueless and lost?
We really need to put order and a systematic approAch to our lives. Not just in government offices. I recalled one mother at school saying, "Oakridge is like utopia - it's so idealistic. What will happen when kids graduate and see the chaotic world? Aren't they prepared for chaos?" I have one clear answer to that, would you want your kids to be used to systematic approach to things, to organized world, so that when they go out in the REAL world, they'd be the channel , the avenue where change is truly implemented. These people in charge - government officials who grew up in an un systematized world. They travel - true. They see organized, effective societies. But they don't really study how they work, what they do yo make their communities effective. I recalled Jesse Robredo. His dedication and commitment to give structure and system to naga has paved the way for true change. Having studied at Harvard JFK School of Governance, he wanted to implement structure in his town - because he knows it is the ONLY way to progress. All countries who have progressed and reach efficient status have a structured and organized way of doing things. So when foreign journalist say, people who help in the Philippines need to have some tolerance on chaos is just an eye opener, a smack in our face that hey we need to wake up , people.
I truly hope this is an eye opener to everyone. I hope we don't resist change. I hope we vote for the quiet people.  I hope it's not just for show.