Happy holidays!

It's the time of the year when everything gets busy! Christmas rush! The last two years, we spent Christmas abroad. So, it's kinda nerve wrecking again to have Christmas in the Philippines. Just the thought of preparation, cooking and relatives visiting give us that Christmas pain. But it's good to spend Christmas with family. It's good to spend Christmas at home.

Resilience has always been said to be the greatest trait of Filipinos. OFWs go abroad, search for a better life, adapt and succeed.  That's 11 million Filipinos scattered around the world - striving and soaring high. But are we really resilient? Or have Filipinos who stayed just chose to be passive while waiting for the support from OFW relatives?
I always get this complain or comment from the parents. "My kid is not happy." I cannot grasp that. I do not know how to handle that kind of complain. Happiness is so subjective. I can be happy stuck in the library while others will find that boring. It is soooooo vague. But parents have pampered their children so much that they give whatever they need ( that's okay) and they want. We need to train our children to adapt to different environment, to adjust. I always believe that happiness should not be determined by external things, but should be internal and intrinsic in one personal. It's what we call security. When we give our children security - love, peace of mind, I don't think they will ever need the affirmation from their environment.
The problem with parenting today is parents are soooo busy with other things - cellphones, androids, iPads, pcs, Facebook, that raising and spending time with their children is on the last of their "things to do". I remembered pastor peter talking about how he'd always make time to talk and chat with his children regardless of his schedule. His wife gave up work to spend time with the kids. Money can just go so far. But our relationship and communication with out children brings in respect, trust, faith, love and hope that will lead our children to their future, our family to the next generation. Heritage is not the amount of money or the big empire we pass on to our children. Heritage is our family culture and values lived and passed on to our children and our children's children. If we teach and pass on to our children our faith in God , our love for The Lord and our devotion to grow in life and faith, I believe the next generation of Dulays will be God fearing, God loving, perseverance and faithful Steward of God's kingdom and testimony.

I just encountered a battle today. The kind of battle that makes you stop - pause whatever you are doing and recalibrate. I even asked dek if dagupan really is not ready for quality and real learning. Then I remembered how local private school do teaching and learning. Last month, I was invited to observe one of the biggest private school in dagupan city. People have always labeled them as the 'it' school - doing everything right...they have oral exams, they have monthly awards, they have killer exams and they hired my rejected teachers (seriously!) . And so, I entered and observed their class. Their "great" teacher entered, brought out Manila paper and started making kids copy crap from the board. I was actually so clueless what they he'll they were doing. And I kinda realized it's their lessons. Of course having 5 Manila paper posts in front and making the kids copy everything on the board consumed the rest of the hour. And by the way, their classes are in 30 minute interval.
So, to make my story short that was their lesson - their class. Teachers make kids copy bunch of stuff, kids don't learn anything and thus go to tutors. Tutors are non- education graduate and makes kids memoriz bunch on irrelevant facts and parents are so happy their kids are so busy. Is that education? Is that learning? Is that quality?
Sometimes I scratch my head when they question everything we do at Oakridge, when all I see is real and genuine learning and teaching happening everyday. But if oh ask me , I still believe Oakridge is the best school.

Just need a refresher....a few hours back at oakidgeschool list my hair on fire! I just need a breather! Am I crazy or what? A grandma complaining today why we don't teach handwriting in writing class....told her writing class is for writing paragraphs, essays, research papers and thesis - not handwriting. Handwriting is an individual thing. You want your daughter or won't o improve his or her handwriting techniques, teach her....I really don't get why some people don't get that?! Is handwriting more important than the content of their essay? Duh?!!!!

Have a greats Friday,

We tried putting pearl necklace on my baby girl and it was just so adorable. I can't  deny the fact that we loooove pearls!

Being content and thankful

1. Being thankful
The Lord said in the bible, "in everything give thanks". We have often neglected to give thanks in small and big things that come our way. We neglect saying thanks to those who's serve us - from the yaya who helps us int he house, to the waitress in the restraints , and to our husbands. We don't say thanks because we feel we are entitled. This entitled mentality has corrupted even our relationship with other people. We feel that we have the right to be served. This kind of entitled mentality is what hinders us from being thankful and grateful.
2. How one keeps complaining and seeing what's wrong
We have always been complaining - from big things in our country to small things in our daily lives. I actually am guilty in this part. We tend to do self pity and see everything that's wrong in our life , and not realized that he lord has blessed us so much. I have a friend who does complain a lot. He complains about how his uncle ( who manages the company) lives a luxurious life, while they live a simple one. How their uncle goes to fine dining restaurants, while their family simply goes to middle class restaurants. Everyday , he complains about his uncle. Then, one sau, I just had it and told him, how blessed he is and how he should stop comparing his life with his uncle's. Often, we keep comparing our lives to other people and we pity ourselves. But why compare? The Lord does give each one of us talents according to our measure. If we are prudent and faithful stewards, The Lord will bless us with more.
3. Ungrateful heart
Our character and attitude is a manifestation of what is in our hearts. When we keep on complaining and comparing our lives with others, God will see that what we have in our heart is deceit. We really need to allow The Lord tore new us day by day, hat our heart be cleansed our spirit be burning with fire for The Lord. We need tor ealize that having an ungrateful heart is having evil in our hearts. It corrupts and usurps our being. I have met some people who are consumed by their pride. Because of pride in their heart, they refuse to show emotion - love towards their children and humility towards others. Because of their pride, they want to maintain a "macho" image forever. But real strength comes when we show humility and God's power strengthens us within. Real power comes from God, not from human capabilities. Real victory and success comes from God's power working within us.
4. Problem in our culture - complain
Last night, we had a great chat with a mom at school. She's also a dear friend. She has been experiencing a lot of challenges and problems in her personal life. Then we talked about how people (I.e parents) in the Philippines over reacts , attacks and insults teachers. People have lost their respect to teachers and have treated them like yayas. Remember the mom I told you about who's id she's busy running her business to pick up her kid, so the teachers should take care of her child? It's not jus one mom. Filipino parents have treated teachers like that. I have friends who are teaching in Manila who have been encountering the same thing. Parents - people have been so self absorbed that they complain about everything and anything. It's like a white sheet of paper with a tiny black dot in the middle.t hey focus on the black dot, than appreciate and make use of the whole white big part. It's micro- manage over macro manage. That's Filipino culture.  And we need to move pass this.
5. Secret to contentment
And the key is to learn to be content. We really need to ask The Lord to grant us a thankful heart, to learn to be content. We live in the society - in a world where everything leads to another. We keep on wanting for more. Materialism and commercializations have corrupted what's important in life. We need to see that it's not what God has planned for us. When God created us! it was not to buy stuff, or. To be fashionable. We need to realize the purpose of clothing, our housing, of cars, of food. Being consumed by "buying" mentality will simply make us worldly. And God is very clear in His word. " we are not for this world, nor of this world."

Submission to God's annointed

Submission to authority is the hardest thing a person should do in his life. We always think we are better and we know better. From our own parents to our husband to our local government officials to president, we always think we know better. How often do we neglect the rules, because we think it doesn't apply to us? How often do we ignore our parent's request and command because we thought its old fashioned? How often do we take our boss' instruction for granted because we think it's stupid?  Almost always. Human beings are born with a rebellious nature. But through God's grace and mercy, we learn to submit and trust in The Lord. Submission to authority is simply knowing and trusting that God is in control. People are in position, in authority not because of human interference, but because of God's sovereign arrangement.

Loopholes of parenting in the PHILIPPINES

I have always heard people saying, "The benefits of parenting in the philippines is having a yaya." While that it true, it also manifests how parents - Filipino parents have relied on yayas in parenting and raising the children. If majority of mothers in the country choose to work and depend on yayas - non biological, uneducated individuals to discipline and raise the next generation, what will happen to the next generation? I have often caught Nathan's yaya stare at the television and ignore Nathan. OFTEN! I have often caught his yaya shout at him. No wonder kids today think yelling and shouting are normal. I OFTEN caught her teaching wrong pronunciation to words. You can just imagine what kind of kids we will be having ....bisaya Filipino kids! I don't wanna put my kids' nannies down. But my point is disciplining and raising the kids should never be delegated to the yaya. As parents, we have the sole responsibility of training and raising our children. From ages 0 to 7, installing values and training should be our number one priority. Jot giving them material and financial support. As mothers, our primary goal is to give them strong family and biblical values that will guide and support their decisions in the future. We cannot just delegate this tasks to other people - yaya, school, tutors, etc. it's our job.

The problem with parents nowadays is that they are more scared to loose the nanny than to see their kids get hurt. We out our comfort above our kids. We think we will become Paralyzed when we don't have yaya. That's wrong! Millions of parents around the world survived without yayas. We should put our kids first.

Parenting is not a birth right, but a privilege. Pastor peter and Brother Francis kept reiterating last Saturday at the parenting seminar. Indeed, parenting is the hardest and most challenging thing we can ever do in our life -especially as mothers. Times have changed so much that both mom and dads have focused on work and careers to give all the material things and to uplift the standards of living of families. But what profits a man and a woman that he gains the whole world - acquires so much possession , but fails in raising their children. We kept on saying, 'my parents realized me this way. And it worked." How can you say that it really works when we - in our generation have failed miserably in making good decisions, following rules, respecting those in authority and ignored the Lord's speaking within? Acquiring material things is not a proof of successful parenting. Successful parenting is simply the inculcation of strong values that will guide the children in their decision making and in becoming a person according to God's heart.