you have no idea for stressed and anxious i am everyday. i am so afraid of loosing students, of being "not good enough". it paralyzes me thinking that some students might leave the school, when all i do everyday is make learning meaningful and doing whats best for the kids.and its frustrating that teachers dont get it, parents dont get it and worst even my staff dont get it. you know how i get frustrated and depressed that parents see the school as "not being good enough" when all we do is innovative things for education and learning.
i saw the feature discovery channel did for Steve Jobs this morning. how a visionary was rejected, overcame his challenges and succeed in his desire to change the world. i can see the similarities of the world i live in now and the world steve had during the 70s. persecution and rejection of one's beliefs, principles and vision - this was our scenario. and this is what i feel now. if i am weak, i could have given up years ago and decided to just help manage the other businesses. but i saw my place in this world in education. i know that my heart for public service can be brought by education and can be executed by my passion in education.
but in every desire to contribute in the society where people live in the past, rejection, ridicule and fear of "the new" is inevitable. I just hope it will pay off. this time, i dont rely on myself. ill just give everything to the Lord. afterall, Oakridge is of the Lord and has the Lord in the center. Ill just live by faith once again.

Need grace though.