When I was pregnant with Caitlyn! the hardest thing for me to do is to stop working and take care of myself. It has always been the students and Oakridge came first. Even above myself, my family and even my God. It was the worst feeling -trying to please each add every parent at school.
This year I had the biggest challenge in my life - to trust in The Lord. Many many many times, I have put everything in my hands to fix things at school. And it ended up a disaster. Last night, when I received another news that a lot of people are planning to transfer because they don't like how Oakridge is being run by Tom, I felt soooo bad like a knife cut through my chest. It was even worse than that. I even discussed it with Tom. And he was more than ready to quit. Bug I told him if he quits, I'll say yes to every request parents ask for, homeschool my kids and just do ' bahala na'. Of anyone I have worked with (including remarkable people in Manila), I believe I the direction we are going with Tom's leadership. He may not have the Filipino "ma pr" persona. But he's direct, focused and.... He knows what he's doing. If you ask me, I'll enroll my kids wherever Tom is. Whether he's the principal of some small school in San Fabian or at Oakridge. That's how much I believe in this person. Yes.  We do fight a lot about our ideals. Two idealistic educators usually collide. But it brings forth greater ideas and stronger partnership. If parents think I'm not hands on, I think it's not true. I h been more handson now. Because I have learned to trust in God to take full control.

i feel horrible. parents tell me they dont like how the school is running. and when i come here and spend the morning, i see and realize that we are doing More than we should. we are the only school that actully teaches students to think, make decisions and be independent. but when [parents complain, it seems like we are the worst school in town. its just frustrating and infuriating how people dont see the value of whats important in life. true! we dont make kids memorize. if they expect their kids to memorize bunch of stupid stuff, oakridge is not for them. i am almost tempted to make tom just make parents happy by saying what they wanna hear and just doze off at work.

Last night, we watched wolf of wallstreet, a pretty good Leonardo da caprio movie. It's a great movie that shows how anxiety and love for money can cripple a man. It shows the danger of lust and of money. It made me realize how important it is to be in tune with God to know God's purpose and will in our lives.
I have to admit I myself have that evil nature to love mammon of unrighteousness and the world. It made me realize how much grace I need. For as long as we are connected to the Lord and flee youthful lust, we can truly overcome the world and it's evil ways.

Had a great afternoon with a brilliant mind. Spent time talking about our travels and our view of the world. Spent time talking about how we need to raise our children in this day and age.
After a beautiful afternoon, my world crashed. I saw one of our lola in the school. She immediately said, "kaya lang kami nagstay dahil sayo." My world crash right there. They stayed in Oakridge because of me? why? I am not worthy. I am full of defects. If they think I am the one thats putting everythign together at school, you got it all wrong. Its not me. Its not Tom. its not dek. its God himself that keeping everything together. Everything at Oakridge is by grace. I feel so unworthy to be said na ako yun reason why they stay. Infact, I believe they shouldnt. the whole point in being at Oakridge is for the change in our society- to bring about revival. to follow God's eternal will and to deviate from corrupted educational system of Dagupan City. I believe we are giving 150% more at Oakridge. Sad thing is parents dont understand and appreciate that. What they want is getting their way, asking for favors and having someone pep talk with them. It was just so negative. The lola was saying how the teacher did not allow her granddaughter to attend math remedial, and then suddenly allowed her to. I really dont understand how making people wait will immediately mean we are ineffective. Infact, we are the only school that has math remedial. we dont need to. but its the right thing to do. Cant people be appreciative of that? Dont they see that we are the only school TEACHING?  Everyday its like putting my head across a concrete wall! I need grace. I need faith.

Be proactive. As we always teach the kids at school. But being a woman, I really tend to react every time someone tells me something with even analyzing and contemplating on something. It's my biggest challenge and my biggest failure towards God. I often fall from grace when people say something negative. I tend to counter attack which I will surely regret after. Thus, I needed so much grace. Yesterday, I've learned to stop and pray before acting on something. I've learned to trust in The Lord. It was the hardest thing to do. It's truly against my nature to not react. But apparently my not reacting on something resulted in so much grace. When I prayed and talked to The Lord, he simply gave me answers to my questions and reminded me that all I have to do is ask. I really praise God that we have a Heavenly Father. That everything in our lives happen with a reason and with a purpose. Nothing is by accident. Yesterday, I watched last Sunday's message at ccf app ( you can download it for android and os. Just search ccf at play store or App Store. After download, you can go to messages and start watching services and even go live streaming every Sunday). Anyway, pastor Peter was talking about how science and the bible are not contradicting, but supporting each other. I believe that. I believe science will even testify that the Bible is true. And the theory of evolution is simply saying life is just caused by accident or chance. Our existence is simply caused by chance. I do not believe that. I believe everything happened with a reason according to God's heart's pleasure for his eternal economy. And because of that, there's meaning in our human life and we strive each day to be ready for his coming.

I had another mountain last night. I was actually faced with the same dilemma I face  since we stated moving towards structured system at school. A dad asked me to return a confiscated phone and not go through the procedure (which is to have the parents get the phone). He said the phone was confiscated last year. It's been a month. Inside, I wanted the dad to just go to school and get it. But at the same time, I understand he's busy. I actually just want to fix the problem. I was caught in a situation where I am stuck between a structured system in a lawless world ( the philippines). Where should we stand? Then as I got frustrated, I told dek I don't want Oakridge anymore. It's giving me too much headache and .....heartache. I just want to focus on the kids. But he sat beside me and told me that God placed us in this situation with a purpose. Any times, we do not ant conflict and would just rather live our own lives. I hate having to fix other people's problems when I have my own. But I know Oakridge is the Lord's and the Lord's commission to is and I actually was not able to sleep last night saying I don't want it anymore. It was like giving up on God. I just felt so sorry and needed much consoling and speaking from The Lord.
This morning, I started my day reading our daily bread online. Such a beautiful morning! The Lord spoke and reminded me that in this chaotic world, we need to see things according to hod's perspective and in view of the eternal glory. Everyday, whenever I face parents' ranting, I feel like I fail them everyday. I failed to give in to their every request. But whenever I see the results of national and international exams, I know we are doing the right thing. Because we are strict. We take things seriously. And we train the kids for life.  The thing is I hope parents see that and appreciate that.

parenting

Hi!!! I'm back! After taking a two week break from technology, I'm finally back for more sharing and parenting ideas. I really praise God for giving us 2013 to learn from. I had one if the most challenging g year, but I have learned one great lesson last year - to trust in the Lord for He us in control. Many times i have out everything in my hands, fix according to what I think is right. To tell you the truth, many times it leads to chaos. I realized and learned that the only way for me to conquer my mountains is through kneeling down and pray. I had a great 6 months of quiet solitude with the Lord. And it's the sweetest encounter I had of Him. I am looking forward to more mountains to conquer not
by might, but by the Spirit.